Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
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