dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
You got in a fight last night?
Yeah! Some dude in the bathroom...he was standing there and I notice he's got the same shirt as me on so I'm like...dude you should have called me, we look like idiots...he didn't say anything...so i got pissed and hit him...completely decimated and my hand was all bloody and covered with glass afterward...weird dude, never saw him again that night or since.
Um...Did this guy happen to look almost exactly like you?
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
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