I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
Randomize
