so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk.
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
