summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
I vaguely remember a pregnant lady reaching for my penis. When was I in an elevator?
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
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