Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
Tried to bribe the bartender with wedding cake. Felt bad for not giving her a tip.
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
I just got a voicemail from some strange woman with a Russian accent. Are you ok?
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
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