I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
burritoes are like sleeping bags for ground beef
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
I know you're aving fun across the room but I can clearly see you getting a handy. It's not as "low key" as she promised. Also, why are you texting while she's doing it?!
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
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