Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
Randomize