Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
did you get my message about your dog?
no... is he ok?
no, i didn't see him when i was being chased out of your house. check your drive way :( sry
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
Pretty sure I just became the first person ever to use the word "boner" in a wedding card...
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
I tried to order dominos and couldn't but I accidentally placed an order for this morning. I knew I did it last night and was gonna call and cancel this morning but honestly it's coming in 30 minutes and I need it
Randomize
