I just found a dead bug in my nose. if that's the worst thing up there im considdering myself lucky.
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
I walked into a McDonalds at 8:30 am with a half-eaten apple and a solo cup. Never felt so judged.
It's gameday bitch. Man up.
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
Randomize
