She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
Randomize
