my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
If you asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be today, I can pretty much guarantee I wouldn't have replied with "buying hemorrhoid cream on Bourbon St at 7am"
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
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