This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
I was so drunk that I passed out before I could do or say anything I'd regret. My low alcohol tolerance is like a guardian angel.
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
Randomize
