somebody snuck up and got me drunk
I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
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