I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
does your mom think i'm crazy? i just realized i played both the gay dad and the ex-jew card tonight. i blame the wine
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
Can you come over?
Sex??
Sure but there’s also a squirrel in my garage I need you to take care of.
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