I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
yah i'm on my way- is everything ok?
i'm holding a walmart bag of my own hot vomit that i closed up with some random chicks hair tie. we r pretty fucking far from ok
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
Randomize
