My entire life is one complicated drinking game
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
Randomize
