Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
My roommate just caught me cleaning a tostitos queso jar with my hand and eating it. He didn't judge. Bonding moment.
You think you're smart. You're pretending to be asleep to save yourself from my hormonal pms mood swings. Unfortunately that only works against bears.
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
Randomize
