she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
it was like his penis was on wheels.
this morning i realized i came home with more condoms then i left. burn.
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
I just woke up to three voicemails from you. In the first one you just straight laughed for 3 minutes. In the second you did bird calls. In the third you were hysterically crying. Have fun last night?
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
The ass gains better be worth it
Randomize
