he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
just found a beer in my hamper. even my laundry is a dirty alcoholic.
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
if happy hour never ends, you’ll never have to eat kale
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
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