I had a long pep-talk with my penis that ended in "I love you, I'll try harder and I'm sorry."
we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
My boss is paying me to come clean his house in a maid outfit and told me not to tell anyone....this is shady as fuck but I need the money
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
