Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
All I want to do is sleep. And If I'm not sleeping, I want to be eating or fucking. I'm pretty sure being pregnant has turned me into a dude.
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
Randomize
