i don't plan on having that self control this summer
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
Watching the awkward tinder date at the table next to mine is the most action I've had in months, so there's that.
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
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