Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
why does every cop we meet know your name?
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize