i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
apparently my drunken alterego is a lazyeyed bisexual.
I'm going to rape someone's good day.
I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
Drake has all the answers
A good example of deductive reasoning: Knowing that when my girlfriend texts me "I promise not to smoke all your weed!" that she is...at that VERY moment...Smoking All Of My Weed.
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
Randomize
