we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
just went to get groceries. a cashier said she saw me last night. i guess i carried a broom back from the party and swept the street the whole walk back...and i claimed to be in the cast of wicked
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
I told two kids in their homecoming outfits to use a condom because of Ebola. I may have saved a life last night
His mom said he was in the ER and asked for prayers and positive thoughts. Apparently, me wishing the clap on him is not what she had in mind.
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
I can't even be mad at customs in houstons airport anymore for missing my flight and having to stay overnight. Within an hour of meeting we did it at her place. Her last word being "glad I could show you real southern hospitality". I'm definitely coming back here someday
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
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