Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
Randomize
