you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
As I type I'm climbing my cousins swingset so I can take a nap inside the slide. Fuck this hangover. I always win.
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
Getting a smaller wine glass hasn’t changed the amount I drink—it just means I get more steps each day. Cheers to health!
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