Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
I'm literally trapped as the little spoon on a mattress on the floor of an unfinished basement with a professional athlete snoring in my hair
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
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