..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
I couldnt sleep the entire night because her cats kept reaching under the door like they were trying to eat me for taking their place on her bed.
I always knew youd fuck a cat lady
Randomize
