she lunged for my junk like it was the cure for swine flu
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
I want to celebrate with you...
There's nothing I'd like more than a celebratory "The guy I'm doing just found out he's not a baby daddy" dinner.
the cab driver asked if you were our mom. you definitely shouldn't have tipped him so much.
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
I had to rename my dildo. I met a little kid who named his teddy bear the same name. It just felt wrong.
So my mom wants to hear about my weekend. How do I make licking cupcake frosting off your face while high not sound like just that?
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
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