I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
He uses pillows to masturbate.
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
Yo I'm texting you while getting a bj. I know, I'm the man. Told her I was texting my mom in the hospital.
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
Please don't call my dad a fuckpuppet, I feel like that would be awkward to explain later.
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
Randomize
