So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
Lmao I should put that ad on Craigslist "in need of muscular and determined team of men to carry drunken birthday whore safely home"
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
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