I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
Randomize
