remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
I told the cop it was my birthday and he said "happy fuckin birthday", handcuffed me and threw me in the back of the cop car.
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
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