I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
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