um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
Shitty. Well if it makes you feel any better I just had a toothless wasted crackhead in my bar who was mad because there are TOO MANY FUCKIN TREES in Nantucket.
Don't stress. That was a joke. I'd trust my pets with no one else. Accidents happen. Sometimes things go smoothly when you help a neighbor out and sometimes you electrocute their fish. Life is funny that way.
I just got a voicemail from some strange woman with a Russian accent. Are you ok?
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
Randomize
