one two three fourrrrnication!
I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
Randomize
