she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
Yeah when we were together he never sent me dick pics like a normal boyfriend. It was always pizzas. That should've been my sign.
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
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