Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
Our house smells like week old pizza, beer cans, cigarettes, and depressing career tracks....get lysol.
You smell like a Billy Joel song
Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
The woman that sang I Touch Myself died today. There's only one appropriate way to honor her memory.
I'm on the job.
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
Randomize
