you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
mondays should just be called national damage control day
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
You carved your initals into all my vitamins and said "now a small part of me will be in you every morning" before you fell asleep with my thong on your head.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
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