I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
There should be a guide book that probation officers hand out on "how to tell a tinder girl about your ankle monitor before she notices it at the worst possible moment"
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
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