we have officially lost it.
Weird shit dude, I just realized that the girl I fucked last night looks like Shaun White's twin sister. I dunno if I should be scared or turned on
I hope her Double McTwist was as good as his
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
Always keep a stash of tequila in your work desk. That is like adulting 101.
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
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