I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
You look me right in the eyes and yelled "By the power of the superglue beer sword, I designate you my driver!" I almost felt honored.
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
Randomize
