period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
I almost died today via plastic wrap. I AM THE REASON THEY PUT WARNING LABELS ON THINGS.
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
Randomize
