everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
i just broke my key off in the door of my house because the engine wasnt starting
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
Woke up in a fanny pack with a bag of cocaine on my cheek
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
And then he peed in my hair
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