Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
We lost you in the mall, but to no surprise we found you waiting in line to sit on santas lap. You said you wanted to ask him for a pound of weed and a subway giftcard for xmas.
Just saw a dude dressed as captain america driving down the highway. He saluted me.
Legitimately sent a work email with "Hey, you kids, get off my lawn" as the subject line.
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
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