There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
This house was built for laser tag.
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
Dental hygienist just pulled two flakes of glitter out. And asked me how i've been doing with the divorce.
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
I think the tooth fairy visited me last night... after I chipped my tooth n blacked out, I woke up to my purse filled with cocaine n sequins.
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
Randomize
