Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
It's shark week go big or go home
I'm deleting Tinder. I got there he rubbed my back and then proceeded to jerk off on me.
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
Randomize