my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
Just woke up with an entire pack of Oreos in my cheetah onesie. I've been waiting for this moment forever.
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
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