Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
They installed a lotion dispenser in the bathroom at work... its like they want me to masturbate on the clock...
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
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