Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
In the middle of the State of the Union, she unzipped my pants and started giving me head. I've never been so proud to be an American.
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
I think I gave the bachelor party directions to the breweries next to my dentist so that they could take me to my appointment and pick me up afterward...
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
Randomize
