She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
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