Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
She cheated on me with the same state trooper that wrote me a ticket.
I guess now you have a way to keep your license when you bring that up in court.
Dude, you are the most awesome.
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
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