my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
I woke up on the couch screaming in pain. I don't know how ended up there or why my foot was double the size. all I know is I'm now in a cast and never drinking tequila again. worst hangover ever.
i saved a drunk oompa loompa he was passed out on the lawn and i picked him up figured out where he lived and put him in his bed and wrote his roommate a note
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