My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
My liver just had a heart attack.
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
Omg i got really stoned and used a makeup app on my grandma...well, I’m definitely not adopted
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
Randomize