can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
She went from zero to smokin in five shots
Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
Randomize
