Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
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