omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
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